Post by ady on Jan 11, 2006 18:23:15 GMT -5
Its not really porn, i just wondered who thought "PORN!!! yay, i mite look at this"
I found this really cool website, with lots of funny things on it, heres a few of the best (in my oppinion!)
Ways to annoy people:
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Murray Walker voice.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
Name your dog "Dog"
Here are some puzzling questions
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If the cops arrest a mime artist, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Heres some stupid stuff that actually happened!!!
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
Here are some rather un-necessary instructions
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by US cyclists - Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
On a Korean kitchen knife - Warning: keep out of children
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Swedish chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals
On a Superman costume - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?
I cant be arsed choosin the est bits from it all, so heres a link to lots of strange stuff!
www.jardmail.co.uk/factslists/
Also, i made this up myself, what do you think?
When people ask if you are alright, and you say you are half left, do you think your really half left?
Isnt one titty bigger than the other, and one foot?
So arnet u ever so slightly more right than left or vica versa?
I found this really cool website, with lots of funny things on it, heres a few of the best (in my oppinion!)
Ways to annoy people:
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Murray Walker voice.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others
Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
Name your dog "Dog"
Here are some puzzling questions
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If the cops arrest a mime artist, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Heres some stupid stuff that actually happened!!!
Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.
A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
Here are some rather un-necessary instructions
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by US cyclists - Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
On a Korean kitchen knife - Warning: keep out of children
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Swedish chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals
On a Superman costume - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?
I cant be arsed choosin the est bits from it all, so heres a link to lots of strange stuff!
www.jardmail.co.uk/factslists/
Also, i made this up myself, what do you think?
When people ask if you are alright, and you say you are half left, do you think your really half left?
Isnt one titty bigger than the other, and one foot?
So arnet u ever so slightly more right than left or vica versa?