Post by ady on Jan 13, 2006 14:58:30 GMT -5
Good evening, and welcome to the News at 7.61
Today’s news headlines:
· Media Whore goes one step too far
· Exclusive news about Tetris
· “Prostitutes saved my career” says top footballer.
But today’s main story, it has been announced that any athlete competing in this autumn Olympic games who has a trace of sugar in their body will face a severe punishment. If the blood sugar percentage is more than 50% then the athlete in question will face death by crocodile. If the athlete has less than 50% blood sugar then they face ejection from a helicopter as punishment. Urination samples will be taken from every athlete at the games.
Other news regarding the Olympics is that any athlete seen throwing a punch will be severely punished by means of a puzzle book. The athlete is not allowed to compete until they have successfully completed every puzzle in the book, which will include the new and incredibly challenging Pool Cue puzzle. The latest trial for this punishment has resulted in one of Germanys top athletes throwing the book to the bottom of the wardrobe and retiring. Unfortunately for this athlete he didn’t have much money in the piggy bank and had to complete the punishment.
And finally, the legendary “Ghetto Blaster” performance in the Gangster Decathlon break dance event has resulted in massive destruction to many gangster clubs in Cork, Ireland. This is due to a contamination squad who discovered the performance to be unsafe to Hamsters.
Unfortunately, we have run out of time on today’s news bulletin, so until tomorrows bulletin, Squiddle.
Today’s news headlines:
· Media Whore goes one step too far
· Exclusive news about Tetris
· “Prostitutes saved my career” says top footballer.
But today’s main story, it has been announced that any athlete competing in this autumn Olympic games who has a trace of sugar in their body will face a severe punishment. If the blood sugar percentage is more than 50% then the athlete in question will face death by crocodile. If the athlete has less than 50% blood sugar then they face ejection from a helicopter as punishment. Urination samples will be taken from every athlete at the games.
Other news regarding the Olympics is that any athlete seen throwing a punch will be severely punished by means of a puzzle book. The athlete is not allowed to compete until they have successfully completed every puzzle in the book, which will include the new and incredibly challenging Pool Cue puzzle. The latest trial for this punishment has resulted in one of Germanys top athletes throwing the book to the bottom of the wardrobe and retiring. Unfortunately for this athlete he didn’t have much money in the piggy bank and had to complete the punishment.
And finally, the legendary “Ghetto Blaster” performance in the Gangster Decathlon break dance event has resulted in massive destruction to many gangster clubs in Cork, Ireland. This is due to a contamination squad who discovered the performance to be unsafe to Hamsters.
Unfortunately, we have run out of time on today’s news bulletin, so until tomorrows bulletin, Squiddle.